i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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