you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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