Already got asked if we're dating
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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