My nipple is on Facebook.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
