I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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