I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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