Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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