What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
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Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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