They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
