did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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