so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
