dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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