Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
