Pants 0. Shit 1.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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