seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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