So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
