Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize