wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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