Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
