I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
