Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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