he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
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the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
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Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.