I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star