Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.