I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
smell my finger.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
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He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
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If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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