Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
