so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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