okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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