Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
