i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i've created a new STD.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
