Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
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It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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