I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize