By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
