Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
