I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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