i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
