he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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