i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
is wine microwaveable?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
