Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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