dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
even my farts smell like vagina
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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