She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If I die, sorry about rent.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
that is very illegal...i love you.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
