shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize