Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
