so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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