She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
