You smell like stripper and shame
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
