Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
