My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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