im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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