When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
they're like a gay fantastic four
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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