I want to walk on stilts...naked
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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