You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She announced her abortion via fbk
Swine flu is the new snow day.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
