I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize