I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
