What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
