Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
