Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
