My sheets look like a crime scene.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
