The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
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Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
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Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups