before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
