You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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